Article – Take It From Me, STOP Beating Yourself Up

Today we’re going to switch it up and talk life for a bit…

Earlier this year I decided I was going to work on my mindset. I have some really BIG goals I’ve set and wanted to ensure my mind was ready for the up-leveling. Of course as with any change, you WILL face resistance.

I made it my mission to remain positive and keep my mind in a state of peace, joy, and appreciation. Well, recently a debt I thought was completely paid off resurfaced. I changed banks 2-years ago and didn’t realize until recently that the auto-draft for this account was not transitioned.

As someone who has managed million (and billion) dollar budgets for clients and employers, this was a huge deal for me. If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time you know that I take my financial responsibilities VERY seriously and to know I had a debt floating out there that I just knew was paid, upset me greatly. In fact, I could go on and on about how this happened but the bottom line is I dropped the ball.

Stressing out doesn’t help

When I found out I had this debt – I  cried. I mean broke down and boo-hoooed! I felt embarrassed, angry at myself, and ashamed I could forget all about this. I know there was a lot of transition in my life at the time I (thus streamlining banks) but still, I have systems in place to prevent this type of thing so it was a blow.

Couple that with my desire to up-level and stay positive and I literally stressed myself out. For days I couldn’t even read the documentation because I was just so stressed. I didn’t Scope, I didn’t blog, I only did the bare minimum because I just couldn’t take knowing I let myself, my family (no impact on them whatsoever), and my clients (as if you even knew) down. I even started having headaches again. Life sucked and it felt like I blew it big time. Plus, my credit score took a hit which SUCKED!!!!

Then one day while I was having my pity party I realized something – stressing myself out was NOT helping. I have the means to pay off this debt (true blessing) but first I needed to pull up my big girl panties and get out of my own way. It was time to start making calls and get this handled ASAP.

Be solution focused

You see, you can’t make good decisions and solve problems when you allow yourself to be stressed out! You also can’t fix things that are broken – systems, processes, etc. – when you’re in ‘problem’ mode. Trust me when I tell you, problem mode just creates more problems.

In order to get things back on track and prevent a repeat when you notice things are off track, you need to stay solution focused. You must acknowledge you had a failure, own it, admit it, and then take appropriate steps to correct it. The only way to do that is to be determined you’re going to do better and be better by focusing on actions that are steeped in integrity, in other words, the solution.

I realize it’s not always an easy fix once you’ve found a solution, but just keep moving toward it. Sure it won’t be comfortable, and sure it won’t always be easy, but at the end of the day, it’s what will help you bounce back much faster when you do have a failure or setback.  I had to be determined to continue on the path of solution focused living. You’ll have to do the same thing if you want to reach your professional and personal goals. Let’s decide together we’re not going to let setbacks push up right out of our solution focused living!


Speaker & Business Transformation Expert at Quiana Murray
Quiana Murray is an award-winning entrepreneur, motivational speaker and business transformation expert.